Self Awareness and Alignment
The more aware we are of ourselves, the more we are able to understand what nourishes us and what drains us.
Most people have a general idea of what these things are, but many people do not deliberately do the work of finding out the details.
Who?
It’s really easy to remember and believe every single bad thought you’ve ever had about yourself, and every bad thing someone has ever said about you. Our brains deliberately remember these things so it can keep us out of danger, but ultimately, it usually doesn’t serve us well at all.
Deliberately keep a sunshine file. In it, put every good thing someone else says about you.
Writing something down manually creates a different path in your mind to commit it to memory.
Sit down, and make a list of every thing you’ve accomplished in the last year. Be as detailed as you can, as if you were a private investigator collecting evidence.
Then, take a moment to write a statement from that private investigator. What does the evidence say about who you are?
Why?
Knowing why we do what we do is vital to knowing whether or not we are acting in line with our ideal selves.
Sit down, and make a quick note of what you do, and why you do it.
Then, ask - why does that matter?
Then ask again.
And again.
And again.
What is it that’s left?
Does it give you a clearer idea of your purpose?
How does that feel?
What?
What are the traits you value most? What are your core values?
What things leave you feeling recharged? What actions, concepts, habits, shows, music?
Keep these as a list written down so when it gets dark inside your head, you don’t have the added stress of trying to remember what brings you joy.
Your Internal Battery
When we aren’t acting in alignment with what we value, our battery depletes faster.
When we are acting in line with our values, we have more capacity to open ourselves to play, curiosity, expansion, and joy. It opens up our growing edge.
Care in community
Just like we can obtain trauma from other people, we also heal in community. There is a reason why social rejection feels so dangerous for us, and it’s because it is.
We are social creatures who are wired for story telling. When we tell our stories to eachother, and we let our darkness be seen by other people, it makes it easier to carry.
Things that you can do to make trauma easier to deal with:
Debrief after every event, and wrap it up with an exercise in coregulation.
Breathing together is a great one
So is having a wriggle or a dance.
While talking, toss a ball gently back and forth
Eat Together
Deliberately have time where you do something enjoyable with a strict no-work talk policy.
When you’re stuck, workshop the problem with someone else. Play the why game, get curious about it.
Review.
Know who you are and act like it.
Be like an annoying kid and ask why.
Ape together strong.